Finding a Root Issue

The fastest way to clear a clutter problem is not always the easiest way in the sort run, but in the long run it's so much simpler.

What you do is you find the root issues, the ones that hurt the most, and you tap on them. Any phrase that sends you into a flat-out panic the instant it pops into your head is PROBABLY a root issue.

Ask yourself why you collect things. Why you want things. Why you can't bear to throw this thing away. Let's start with the classic problem of not throwing away magazines and newspapers after you get the next issue.

Question: Why can't I throw away this newspaper?
Answer: I haven't finished reading it.
Q: Yes, but you haven't finished reading any of this big stack of newspapers, and you probably won't finish it. Why keep it?
A: I have to finish it before I can throw it away.
Q: Why?
A: Because it's wasteful to throw away something before you've used it up.

I know when I got to that point in my internal conversation, I was pretty easily at an 8 on the zero to ten scale of emotional intensity. If you are prone to self-examination, you can go a step further.

Q: Why am I so afraid to waste something?
A: Because I know I will never be able to replace it, and there isn't enough.

BINGO! For me, tapping on the phrases "there isn't enough" and "I can never replace it" were huge. A feeling that I was never going to be able to have enough, that there wasn't enough in the world and I would go without if I let go of anything, was forcing me to keep holding on to things that I didn't want, love, need, or enjoy.

You can also alter this technique a bit to help you when you're trying to clean anything or throw anything away, clearing away the mental clutter and pain as you clear away the physical clutter at the same time.

What makes you do it?

What drives someone to compulsively do anything? Why does someone do something over and over again, even if it makes them miserable and they hate it? Why does someone who genuinely want to change keep doing the things that make them miserable?

Most people with compulsive behavior are trying to fill some sort of hole in their hearts. They feel as if something vital is missing, and this lack creates a tremendous amount of anxiety. Compulsive behaviors are self-soothing behaviors, and what they do is they dull the pain and lessen the anxiety, but only for a short amount of time. There is always a rebound effect, which leaves you feeling just as anxious as you felt before, but now with the guilt and shame of having fallen prey to your addiction yet again, which only increases your pain, which increases your anxiety, which makes you crave your soothing behavior...

Solving a compulsive or addictive behavior is almost impossible unless you address the root issue FIRST. Instead of trying to rip away the only soothing mechanism a person has, it is much more effective, as well as being kinder and easier for you, to solve the problem of WHY you feel anxious in the first place.

When you look at why someone feels the need to hoard, usually you see someone who feels insecure about their place in the world, and someone who, at some point, didn't feel like they would have enough to see them through. They are perfectionists and whenever they fail to meet their own standards, they beat themselves up. No progress is good enough, so no progress happens.

It's time to stop beating yourself up. EFT is simple, easy, and it will help you close the void that pushes you to hoard in the first place.